Horror in general and an apology

I know that we are young,
And I know you may love me,
But I just can't be with you like this anymore...

Funny...Now I was going to say the same thing. (By the way, to find out where this came from (although I would say that it either came from hitting the happy juice or getting a large overdose of something funky and winky) you click the bottom line. Stupid technology.)

As you can probably tell, I have caught a sad, sad dose of laz-y-ness. But you're probably not here to listen to a profound, profuse, and proliferating apology. I was just occupied with better things.

(Insert picture of the nap partners. Again, stupid #@%(&$^ technology)

So, what have I been reading?

Your mind, among other things, and....

The Curse of the WENDIGO!!!

This is, by far, the best horror novel I have ever read. Period. But, perhaps I should give you a nice background on my experience with horror novels.

1) In '09 I read the Shawshank Redemption. Hey, Stephen King is a horror novelist, right? Yeah, but not really in this particular book. Good read, though. Goood read. I almost had to put it in the freezer! (Joey, circa 1996. Don't judge my pathetic-ness on my amazing ability to marathon Friends.)

2) Whenever the Human Centipede came out--I really am too afraid to even look it up--I made the huge mistake of Googling it on the internet and reading it on Wikipedia, which, as it turns out, is way too elaborate in its descriptions. They should have just described it as gross and messed up.

3) Same goes for the Exorcist. And the select episode of the Rocky Horror Picture Show on Glee. Hey, there's horror in the title.

4) I find the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo quite horrible in the moral sense. Good book, nightmare-inducing plot line.

5) Ditto for Room.

Yup. So, me, yeah. But I decided to try the Curse of the Wendigo to redeem my wimping out on the Monstrumologist. Oh, and don't get me wrong. Just because I was able to handle the gruesome...ehm...stuff in the C.O.T.W. (And to think, I am still willing to chase after the ice cream truck...laziness is not my most attractive quality) doesn't mean that it is for the weak-hearted, or for reading during lunch. Or before bed. Just a tip. Really, though, read it, read it, read it. If you enjoy superlative writing, that delicious, rare quiver of the last pages that fills you with dread and hope which only comes after reading a truly amazing book (gasping for breath), and a gripping, labyrinth-like plot, you must read. Must READ! I command you. Oh--and as a side note, the Will Henry in the book is nothing like that fine (read it like fiiii-iiine) Will Turner. He's eleven. Sorry.

c u nxt tym, bff Jill. (; (; (;

They're BAAACK!

Just arrived from holidaying and I'll get the pix uploaded soon...that is if I don't procrastinate and I'm finished with everything (including having some good old-fashioned "nothing" time. just sitting and staring at toenails pathetically. it's a nice practice.) Let's hope it's by the end of this year!

I'm too darn lazy to upload photos now, even though it's only nine. Jetlag's got me--it feels like one in the morning. Vacation was sooo deliciously warm and tickly (don't judge) and wonderfully mind-rotting. Mmm. It's freezing now, so I might as well get on with this blogpost, though so I can get to sleep.

Vacationing Books DOs and Don'ts:

Don't...bring that very bestest book in the world that you've read six million times and the cover's nostalgically worn in and that's only pictures and weighs about two thousand pounds (I tip my hat off to Henry and the Purple Crayon)

bring three paperback copies of the same exact edition of Gone With the Wind (ahem.)

bring more than 3 books unless you're going on a month-long "vacation" when in reality you are escaping the country to a remote village in the West Indies because you have been falsely accused of committing a truly heinous crime that you will eventually write a book about and find your true love and rescue your hat and....I've watched Indiana Jones too many times. No, really I stick by this as a self-induced rule (but no one said how large the books can be. wink, wink).

Do...bring any book that is incredibly hard to get through but you must finish it for a deadline. I've been there. You'll be bored out of your mind during the travel, so, might as well. Just make sure it isn't a hardback copy or a rare edition. You can just leave those for me...

bring large paperback books

bring a GOOD book

I brought:

The Christmas Carol
by: Charles Dickens (Vintage Charles Dickens edition)
I love this edition. It comes with two bonus stories and it has a gorgeous cover. Plus it's appropriately in season. All I need now is a mug o' hot cocoa and some ridiculously large marshmallows. And a puppy. And a unicorn. And a pony.

The Phoenix and the Carpet (mentioned in the last post. go read it.)
Edith Nesbit

Oooh, I can't wait till break again! And I haven't seen the new HP movie! SHAME!

The Novelmaven

bookworm, harold, dickens

The Singing Bass

I have, for the first time today, seen the legendary "Singing Bass" mounted on a wooden board, and apparently, made of plastic? I don't know. All I know is that it is quite frightening.

On vacation now, so it's a little difficult for me to upload photos--but once I'm done I promise I'll have a buttload (boatload? bushload?).

Reading Phoenix and the Carpet. I was obssessed with Five Children and It in fourth, third grade, but I never quite got around to reading this one. Go Edith Nesbit! She has such an innocent, pure, and classic way of writing. Always makes me feel at home.

I promise I'll have the photos soon.

Mooshers!

The Novelmaven

Nighttime Routines

Barbra Streisand is genius beyond genius. I always have an affinity for old movies (don't we all???) "Don't Rain on My Parade" and "Funny Girl" seem to always top my list that I occasionally write out for "Fresh Talent Show Songs" and I always seem to chicken out afterwards. Nowadays it's hard to find a song that no one has sung in the past five years and Glee certainly isn't going to stop for another, I assume (and DEARLY hope) three seasons...it certainly reminds me of a never-ending talent show.

So, anyway, why I had that little shpiel in the beginning there was because I <3 broadway (ode to cheesiness), but, strangely enough, my bedside-falling-asleep-audio (not exactly successful for falling asleep) has not been my Wicked, Cabaret, Guys and Dolls, Bye Bye Birdie, etc. etc. CD. It has been this:

What is THIS you may wonder? Aha, it is my Mozart CD + Nature Sounds = makes me feel old. *sighs* It is very, very relaxing however. I haven't been getting enough sleep, which is probably due to the fact that I read right before bed, and then subsequently forget that the time is creeping into the wee hours of the morning....but anyways, this helps. A whole lot. I just have to make sure I go to the bathroom beforehand. (cough, water sounds) And though those beautiful concertos are sporadically punctuated by the squawk of some wild bird, it is a pretty good sleep-inducer.

I also wear this before bed...

Elle Woods moment...okay, let me explain.
My mom loves eyemasks, so the obvi (I hate that word, which is precisely the reason I must ridiculously sprinkle it here and there...although I'm not sure I'm using it in the correct context.) thing to do was go to the dollar section and buy one. And then forget to give it to her. And use it instead. Because it's comfortable and those glow-in-the-dark stars are really beginning to bug you.

And books.

My nighttime reads. Actually I've finished these, so I can caboodle a bit on them.

Now, I know I'm way behind the bandwagon for Memoirs of a Geisha, but frankly, these past, what, three, two years have been busy!!! No, for me it was just one of those books I always promised myself I was going to read, flipped around the pages, and had it end up sitting on my shelf for a very long time and I am so inexpressibly happy that I was able to pick it up again. I should write a haiku for it, about its details details details and witty moments and its inexplicable ability to make you feel like you want to hurl about some bits but still love it at the same time and make you have the urge to stand up as a proud feminist.

Onto Safe Haven. This is what Safe Haven is supposed to make you feel like....Let me diverge for a second...

I don't usually read Nicholas Sparks. Nah, who am I kidding, I NEVER read Nicholas Sparks. (Although isn't my thumb gorgeous?)  Well, anyway I decided to pick up Safe Haven. It was good. Ahem. (That "good" says a lot, doesn't it?) I don't know, it's one of those books that attempts to be a romance, drama, and action-packed adventure all in one and is...good...but not gripping-the-edge-of-your-seat-but-in-my-case-bed-post-because-I-don't-read-in-a-chair. So, the picture above...supposed to be frightening but really makes you want to find out what's in that pink and white bottle. Kind of like a book I know...nix the pink and white bottle full of earring cleaner.

When I have time...so, like, never, I watch this. I know the theme song by heart and have seen all but two episodes. It's sad.

Mooshers!

The Novelmaven

It feels like rain today...

Ever have one of those days where you feel so darn cloudy and the weather is deliciously warm and perfect and the sky is blue and untroubled so that you feel the whole darn world is mocking you?

No?

Hmmm...that might explain something.

Anyway, that's how I feel today. Like that scene in Back to the Future where a whole cartload of stinky fertilizer is dumped on the guy's new convertible (slick, huh?) and then in the second movie, it happens all over again. Yup, I feel like I've just starred in a movie that was a spin-off of a movie that kind of sucked and was the evil dude whose car just got a bucketload of poop on....twice.

I'm reading EAT PRAY LOVE. It's ironic, I know, and a little too late (cough, four, cough, years) and I'm not reading it just because the movie's coming out (although it does make me want to wriggle in skinny jeans and have that sublimely enlightened expression Julia Roberts has when she eats tart gelato...who gets that stuff anyway? It's gross. And who eats it without the funky spoons???). I've been meaning to read it for a while. Okay, for, like, years, but I got caught up in so much schtuff...Like SO MUCH SCHTUFF.

okay, I must discuss EAT PRAY LOVE. I think that, while I love Liz, I mean, who doesn't, and I totally want to be best buddies with her and eat gelato and pasta all day long (no, really, 1/3 of the book is eating gelato and pasta....hence the EAT), I think she justifies herself too much. No, I'm not talking about the part where she fervently makes out with the tree or the whole LOVE part of the book. I just don't think you have an excuse for eating pasta, pizza, and whatnot and making it seem like the end of the world if you don't, and then going off to India to shed wordly desires. And then back to Bali to wriggle into the worldliness again. It's all so contradictory and so constantly self-justifying that the whole book sounds like WANT WANT WANT and CAN CAN CAN. And then subsequently can't can't can't and won't won't won't.

Not hating on it however, not that I have any right to. I really do enjoy the book and I hope to see the movie....soon....if I don't get caught up into too much SCHTUFF....




smiley/frowny, spoons

these crazy, hazy, lazy days of suuumer....

Me: When did summer fly by so fast?
Me: Um...two days ago.

Yes, that dreamy, delusional persona of myself vs. the realistic, practical, and rather taciturn version. I happen to think of the dreamy persona as a bit of a flake, someone who I may now and then revisit, but who usually stays buried in memories of the past that I wish to forget, yet are still brought up as anecdotes in family gatherings. Oh, haha. Example/Storytime!!!:

Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there were four people in a room--an aunt who gets five manicures a week, a parent, a too-curious let's-stuff-a-carrot-down-the-disposal-and-see-what-happens child, and yours truly. They were attending an evil gathering also known as a FAMILY REUNION.

"Remember that one time when (fill in proper noun) did this?"
"Oh, and remember when (fill in proper noun) did that? That was funny. And then that poor snail--"
"The poor snail! Hahaha! The snail story! Remember that story?"
(someone else, probably younger) "What snail?"
"Well, your cousin (fipn) was always wondering--"
Me, in a corner, grumbling. "You've told that story thirty two times. It really isn't that funny."
"Don't exaggerate. And don't interrupt. Anyway--"
"No, really, 32 times. I've counted."
"Shut up! I want to hear the story."

The end.

The moral of the story is: Don't go to family reunions. And always wash your feet. And don't stick carrots down the garbage disposal.

Aren't I GOOD at story-telling?

I'm exhausted today. Too much school.

Goodbye!

carrot, storytime

shorts are synonymous with underwear.

my first day of school (again).
apparently, all the girls forgot the dress code and decided to wear shorts. and by that I mean a shirt with maybe, like, a fringe on the bottom and then legs. And some girls can't pull of shorts. they really can't. (ahem. moi) Of course, I wore jeans because I like to be decent and I am aware of the fact that abercrombie shorts really don't fit me and I won't try to squeeze myself into one of them, squealing, "FIT, FIT, FIT" and then say I look hot. And of course, I HAD to try and be decent on a ninety-degree temperature day.

 what my head feels like: picture RIGHT

isn't this fun?

okay, enough with my satirical rant.
books I'm going to read:

Night: by Elie Wiesel

Frankenstein: by Mary Shelley, whom I admire greatly (I mean, a classic at eighteen!!! although the Bronte sisters and Austen did about the same thing. children! writing! HOORAY! I think the reason why I'm yaying is because it's a wonderful example, it really is. Bravo SHELLEY!)

wow, my book list is starting to sound depressing.

Twilight: by Stephanie Myers
those poor things.

HAHAHAHAHA! no, just kidding. here's the rest of the real book list:

To Kill a Mockingbird by: Harper Lee ( I SO love reading in a Louisiana accent in my head. Actually, I love any excuse to do a Louisiana accent. It'd actually be great to visit Louisiana. I mean, gumbo? come on.) I know that the photo below is the same copy from Pretty Little Liars. Let's just be good friends and forgive each other in this matter. And forgive the fact that I know that.

and Penny from Heaven by: Jennifer L. Holm (A ridiculously good book. I'm re-reading it. and re-reading it, and re-reading it.....) It's a REALLY PRETTY COVER.

CATS! (My "journal, although technically, I cannot keep a journal.)

HI-CHEW! AHH-CHOO. Cool candy. Cool name


 

have a good school year!!!!
garsheties, what a long blog!

The Novelmaven